About Me

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I have dedicated all of my time to the welfare, upkeep, control, future, problem solving, compromising, cleanliness, and order to my home, my children, my dog, my two cats, my two fish, and my husband. I have opted to put all my time, sanity, self control, patience, impatience, good grace, and stellar personality into this effort. I am happy to clean, willing to be walked all over, content to attend to my dirty duties, and totally convinced I have the best job in the world. Give or take a couple days.

November 5, 2012

...while stumbling through the laundry room

Thats it. I give up. Im not going to kid myself any more. Im never going to find a routine, or a schedule, or a step by step list that will help me with this laundry. Laundry will never be finished- accepted! Laundry will always make me mad- accepted! Lack of clean clothes may very well contribute to divorce- accepted! People will fall down the stairs and die after tripping over piles of clothes on the landing- accepted! Children will go without underwear for many days at a time- accepted! Other housewives will not judge me because of my inability to complete laundry- accepte... wait a minute here. I have a thought. Yes, yes those housewives. THOSE housewives. The ones who "love" laundry. You did this to me. Your foofy blogs about how simple laundry can be, about the "tips" that can guide any woman to a happy and healthy laundry relationship. I'll tell you something. Enjoying laundry so much that you feel you can help others achieve laundry success is just sick. My advice is to keep your passion in your own laundry room, because its not normal. Just like collecting vacuums, cast iron skillets, and figurines of cows to clutter the kitchen isn't normal. Did I fail? Did I fail because I cant follow the rule of keeping laundry off of the laundry room floor, no matter what? Did I fail because I dont fold clothes the minute they come out of the dryer, like you suggested? Am I a failure because I cant figure out how the hell you fold those fitted sheets so well? YES! Right? Is that what you want me to say? I can see the smirk on your laundry loving face. I can hear you saying "you could do it if you REALLY wanted to" under your breath. No I cant. There! Now I'm happy. Because I hate laundry...and that is normal.

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