...while unloading the dishwasher

I wonder if any of my neighbors can hear me singing. If I crack the windows a litltle bit they may hear me singing but it wont look like I'm intentionally trying to get them to hear me because the windows are only cracked, not fully open, thus giving them the idea that I don't know how great I am. Then one day on the way to the mail box someone would be like " oh hey I heard you singing the other day," and I'd be like " really?? I didn't know anyone was listening." and then they would say " you know, I have a friend in the music industry, I'd love to introduce you to him." and I'd be like "wow! how unexpected!" then I would meet them and they would love me, I'd become a huge music star right away, bypass the whole American idol road block, spread my wealth to those in need, cure world hunger, buy Italy and live the rest of my life peacefully in my giant home with my maids to clean up after me. All because I accidentally left the window open while unloading the dishwasher.

...while putting the kids to bed

"I have to go to the bathroom."
"Can I have a snack?"
"You said you would sing to me."
"Just let me color this one part."
"I have to go pee."
"I need a hug and kiss."
"Mommy, snuggles!"
"But you didn't get me some food?!"
"Where's my water bottle?!"
"Can you find my little black horse?"
"You forgot to give me dinner!"
"Can I have raisins?"
"I dropped my Pegasus!"
"Can I stay up?"
"Why can't I stay up?"
I wonder how many times I have walked up and down the stairs in the last hour as I have tried with all of my god given patience to put my kids to bed.

...while cleaning the kitchen

My software developer husband just told me what it means to be "wired in" while he's at work. It means he gets so focused on the computer code he's writing, that he doesn't even look up for hours. He just gets in the zone, knows what he has to do, and gets soooo much done. Then I realized hey, house wives have the same thing! There are times that I will have my music going while I blast through this kitchen and before I know it, BAM! The dishes are done, counters are clean, floor is mopped...dog has eaten three barbies, there's an inch of water on the basement floor, soft porn is playing on my iPad, and my three year old is missing. Gotta love those days. Feels like your getting so much done, doesn't it?

...while sweeping the floor

Should I really be sweeping the dining room right now? its only 10am which means I have at least two more meals in here, Clara will probably want to cut out some more horse pictures, and Lyla's obsession with eating her oatmeal dry is sure to make this place a disaster again, so I should probably wait and do it tonight. Then again it only takes a couple of minutes. However, it doesn't matter how dirty the floor gets it always takes the same amount of time to sweep it which means if i sweep it now and then sweep it later I will be taking up more time which I could be using to get something else done, but if I wait and sweep it all tonight I can get it done and clean in one shot, so I would only need to sweep once. But what if someone comes over today? How embarassing it would be to have such a dirty floor! Eh, its already half way done, I might as well finish it. Hmm, should I continue on and sweep the whole house? Well if I wait and do the living room after Bella gets home...

...while getting dressed

I am wonder woman! I am an achiever, a believer! I am on top of the world and nothing can stop me. Nothing! I will conquer anything thrown at me, I will take on Satan himself and will triumph! Haha!!!!..."MOMMMEEEEEEE, come and wipe my butt!"... Sigh. Back to reality.

...while gathering the laundery

Ten, count them, ten baskets of laundry to do. That's not even all of it. I still have sheets and other random pieces to launder. How am I ever going to get on top of this mountain? And it's not like I can just choose not to do it all if I don't feel like it, I MUST do the laundry. Its a good thing Bella was sick and stayed home from school or she would have been going to school naked today. My poor husband, bless his heart, had to wear uncomfortable dress socks with his tennis shoes to work. FAIL! Am I the only one in the world that gets this berried under laundry? Does anyone elses family suffer because of an inability to accomplish the necessities of a functioning home? House wives of the world, please tell me, am I alone in my lameness?

...while folding laundry

I have got to lose weight. This is crazy. I feel gross, I look terrible, I felt sluggish while picking apples with the girls today. That reminds me! Dad made an apple pie with the apples we brought home! It's probably cooled off enough now so I can have a slice. What am I talking about? I just got done saying I'm turning into a fatso and now I'm considering pie? What a fool. Ok, tomorrow I will start a diet. Wait, tomorrow we are making home made pierogis. Mmmmm I can't wait for that cheese potato stuffed pasta drenched in melted butter! Ok, ok, I will start the diet on Monday. I will I will I will.